I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I seem to have left my pride at pride
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
