He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
