Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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