have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
