THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
