I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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