Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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