Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
