I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
