we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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