At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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