How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
