In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
