Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
