I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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