love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
