my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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