ya dads aren't the best wingmen
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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