u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
