I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
