ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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