Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
