And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
