We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
