There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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