Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
babies were throwing up all over the place
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm always down for nudity.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
