If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
