how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
