You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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