I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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