Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
