i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
