Where is the hickey?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
