youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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