Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
