I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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