i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
