i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
