using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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