somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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