Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
