But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
