I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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