just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
