I didn't shave. On purpose
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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