Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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