Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
