Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
