Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
