There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
