I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
