I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
