Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
