His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
