Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
