I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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