sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
