my vag is so smooth its legendary
it hurts more in the daytime
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
