AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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