Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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